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To read more about Episode 320, visit the main episode page.

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Michael Moore [00:00:43] Hello, everybody. This is Michael Moore and this is my podcast. Thanks for tuning in here today. It’s a crazy week. I guess every week now is a crazy week, right? Full of wacko and whacked out stuff. This past week was no different. The one that took the cake for me was the state of Louisiana passing a law stating that every classroom in Louisiana must have a poster-sized version of the Ten Commandments. Every classroom in every school, every public school, from kindergarten until your last year in college. It has that whole font size and everything — it’s got to be big, you got to be able to read it. And I’m like, okay, what country is this? Right? We’re not a theocracy, right? It’s supposed to be a democracy where we don’t have a state religion. There is no Church of England. There is no, “We own everything from the river to the sea because we’re the special religion.” None of that. We don’t have that. This is “live and let live,” “be and let be.” Separation of church and state. It’s just…  I’m sure many of you, when you saw that in the news this past week, you thought, “Well…”. 

[00:02:05] But here’s what I thought, and this is what I think what they don’t understand in Louisiana, because often they’re kind-of behind the times in certain southern states — I’m not knocking them, I’m just saying it takes a while to catch up. And in this case, what they’re posting as what they call the Ten Commandments — those are the old Ten Commandments. The new ones, obviously, they don’t know about — but in part that’s probably because they don’t have a special personal relationship with God as I do. I interviewed him about this, geez, 7 or 8 years ago. About, you know, his new commandments, which when I heard that he had done this, I just thought, “Wow, this is very progressive, forward thinking.” You know, the God that we were raised with told people that the Earth did not go around the sun. The sun revolved around the Earth. We were the center of the universe because God made us special, you know, and all the other weird stuff that was in what we called the Bible. A lot of good stuff. But, you know, a lot of little… You were able to stone people to death for a variety of crimes or sins. 

[00:03:15] So he got rid of all that. It happened right around when the new pope came in. I thought this got more, attention than I guess it did, because they don’t know about it down south in Louisiana. So this podcast right now, today, is I am going to as a gift to the state of Louisiana, give them the New Ten Commandments that God put forth here in the last, decade here. 

[00:03:42] So, before I do that, I’m going to take a quick break to thank our underwriters for this week’s episode of my podcast. So stay tuned, Louisiana. And when we come back, God’s latest upgrade on the Ten Commandments just for you. 

[00:04:25] So my first, underwriter I want to thank is Shopify. Listeners of this podcast have heard me talk about Shopify many times over the years. They are, of course, the incredible global commerce platform that made the 21st century tools that people need if you want to run your own shop, your own nonprofit, help out at your school, whatever. That’s what Shopify exists to do. So whether you’re launching an online shop or opening a brick and mortar store from your first sale to your 1 millionth sale, Shopify has got you covered. You don’t have to know how to code or have experience in design or any of that stuff. They have all the tools you need to help you customize your online store to fit your style, and make getting paid simple by instantly accepting every type of payment. And through Shopify’s single dashboard, you can manage orders, shipping, payments on-the-go — it’s all there. So if you have an idea to start your own thing, or maybe you’re looking to grow the business you’ve already got, just check it out. Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com/rumble, and make sure to put “rumble” all in lowercase. Go to shopify.com/rumble now to grow your business, no matter what stage you’re in. Shopify.com/rumble. 

[00:05:51] Now, it’s no secret that the best way to learn a new language is by total immersion. But as much as we may love the idea of up and moving to Italy or France or Costa Rica or Indonesia, most of us, for whatever reason, can’t do that. So the next best thing, my friends, is Babbel. They’re quick, ten minute lessons are handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking one of 14 new languages in as little as three weeks. Three weeks. Where were they in high school? But you don’t have to take my word for it as to how great they are. Even though I personally am a huge fan of Babbel, I’ve used it. But you know, there’s actually been studies done by real scientists from Yale and Michigan State University. One of the studies found that using Babbel for 15 hours is the equivalent of a full semester at college. So if you’re interested in learning a new language, start today with Babbel. And here’s a special limited time deal for our listeners. Right now, you can get up to 60% off your Babbel subscription, but only for our listeners. You go to babbel.com/rumble. So that’s right. Get up to 60% off at Babbel.com/rumble. Oh and yes, rules and restrictions may apply. And thank you to Babbel. 

[00:07:27] Okay, we are back with God’s latest and greatest Ten Commandments. So, if you want to just, hit record or get out of pencil, write these down or whatever, basically, I’ll read you the old commandment called the Ten Commandments — each one of the ten of these. And then I’ll read you God’s New Commandment. For that one, the way he’s changed it up. And also he gave me some notes for, like footnotes so that people understand what he’s trying to say here when he says the things that he said to me. I assume he said this to millions of others on Earth, but not to anybody, I guess, in Louisiana. So if everybody’s ready, here we go. These are God’s, not me, God’s New Ten Commandments. 

[00:08:16] Okay, so we’ll start with number one. Number one, the old one, was I am the Lord thy God. Thou shalt have no false gods before me. No false gods. That was because, you know, the people escaping Egypt were… they made a golden calf. Moses came down, got upset. They were having a big orgy. And so that’s what he meant by no false gods. I’m the god. Not your golden calf, not your whatever. Okay, but who has a golden calf? You know, this is all old. That’s why he wanted the New Ten Commandments. And I guess I am the oracle that was supposed to have done the job of getting these out there to all of you, and I guess I failed in my role in that. My apologies. But here they are. Okay, so that’s number one. I am the Lord thy God that shall have no false gods before me. The New First Commandment is… Smash capitalism, eat the rich and stop buying crap you don’t need. Isn’t that easy? We get that. 

[00:09:21] Second commandment, the old one, Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. In other words, you aren’t supposed to, like, curse using his name. It was a sin to say things like, “God damn it” or whatever. But then, as he explained to me, “Remember, I’m the creator. I invented all those words. You can say, God damn it as much as you want. You can drop as many F-bombs as you want. I don’t care. I invented the word. I invented the F-bomb. Don’t let these people tell you that you’re sinning or whatever. If using the language I gave you. There’s no right way to use it. I created it.” Okay, God, chill, I got it. You know, I’m trying to write all that down while he’s telling me all this. Okay, so here’s the New Second Commandment about don’t use his name in vain —That’s the old way. The new way: That’s my name. Don’t wear it out. And quit saying “God bless America.” It sounds like a command. You can ask me to bless America. But don’t just make it a statement. “God bless America.” Like an order. Like you’re ordering me. It doesn’t sound very loving. So that’s his. I gave you all his notes in that, too. But the actual New Commandment is say what you want. There’s no rules here about his name. Except don’t be bullying him to bless America. I think probably he thought, you know, you got to kind of earn that. You don’t just get to say it. “God bless America.” No no no no. How about God, please bless us? Please bless America? You know, something like that. That he would listen to, I think. 

[00:11:12] All right. The Third Commandment, the old way, Keep holy the Lord’s day. Because that’s the day supposedly didn’t do any creating, took the day off on the Sabbath. So you, you know, you’re supposed to keep that day holy, right? All right. The New Third Commandment is… The Lord’s Day is Thursday night till Monday morning. That is your time off from work. And then he went on to explain that one day out of seven is not enough to have off to recover from the week. You know, you need at least Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and you can start off to work on Thursday night and you don’t have to show up till Monday morning. That’s essentially what he was saying, and that in general his feeling was “wage slavery.” We don’t really call it that now. We call it like “going to work” and then we get paid for that work, but if we don’t do that, then we don’t have a roof over our head, we don’t have food on the table, we don’t have clothes to wear. So therefore it’s like we’re forced to work, to labor, and in return, we’re supposed to make that all okay is that we get a paycheck. Which for some people is good and for a hell of a lot of people it does not make ends meet. So he, as he was explaining this to me, just wanted to make sure that people understood that that wage slavery is a sin, and that it’s a sin to not pay a living wage, and it is a sin for any person to have to, forced to, work more than 36 hours a week. 

[00:12:50] Fourth Commandment, the old commandment, Honor your mother and father. Which basically is, as he explained it to me, that’s still a good commandment. You should honor your mothers and your fathers, your grandmothers and grandfathers, the elderly in general, those who raised you. All of that is a good thing to do. But he also, in his notes to me, and I’m just reading from his notes — the guy really does not have good handwriting. It’s like a doctor’s handwriting where they, like, purposely scribble so that you can’t fill the prescription yourself. Okay, so this is what he said: He wanted to make it very clear that nobody over the age of 50 should have to pay for that roof over their head. They should live rent free/mortgage free; food is free; all prescriptions and medical bills should be free. And that charging older people — charging them money — because they get sick: that is a sin. See, these new commandments are so much better. 

[00:13:59] Number five, the old commandment, Thou shalt not kill. No change. You still shouldn’t be killing people. He wasn’t just talking about taking a knife to somebody or shooting them. He wanted to include all kinds of killing. So in the New Ten Commandments, he explained to me that all killing has to end, especially the organized crime when a nation-state commits acts of war, that’s like a mortal sin, he said. And then to underscore it, he says to me, “By the way, just in case you don’t understand, that means you, America. I’m looking right at you. No more killing. And you too British Empire and Russia and Israel and Saudi Arabia. Those are the ones he singled out. There’s a lot more there but, you know, basically, this is a mortal sin to take the lives of other human beings. And it was a little creepy as he was explaining this, because I really felt like he was giving me the stink eye, especially about the United States. You know, he said, “You have to stop funding wars. Stop sending arms to other countries. You have to stop invading countries.” And he was kind of a little miffed, too, because he’s like, “You, America — why, of all people, do you do this? I mean, I gave you guys the Grand Canyon. I give you half of Niagara Falls. And I’ve given you over a dozen Six Flags amusement parks. I mean, I really have, as you can see, kind of singled you out for some special favors and perks that other places don’t have. There’s no Grand Canyon in Belgium. He gave that to us in return. All he’s asking is stop warring, stop funding wars. Stop the organized, state sponsored killing. And he’s like, “And Israel, I mean, seriously? I made you the chosen people. I didn’t choose you to do this. Stop it! Oh, and by the way,” he says to me, “I didn’t give the Holy Land to any one group, any one religion, one people or whatever. The Earth belongs to everyone. And people should have the freedom to live where they want.” I couldn’t argue with that. 

[00:16:36] The Sixth Commandment, the old commandment, Thou shalt not commit adultery. The New Sixth Commandment: Don’t be a cheater. Don’t be a loser. And no one is required to get married in the first place. So as he explained, you know, look it. If you’re a cheater, cheaters are going to cheat. So stay single. Don’t mess up people that you say you love by then lying and cheating and not being there. It’s okay. You don’t have to be there. See, that’s the thing he’s telling me: “Nothing in the Bible. It says everybody’s got to get married. Nothing. Even in the old commandments, it doesn’t require you to get married.” So live the life you want to live. Be a consenting adult with other consenting adults. Whatever that means to you. So… Interesting upgrade here to “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”. 

[00:17:34] Number seven, the old commandment, Thou shalt not steal. And the new one, he said to me, that one’s unchanged. Still the same. No Stealing. And then in his added comments, because again, he doesn’t think that we “modern” people understand the definition of stealing. It’s not just, you know, robbing a bank or breaking into somebody’s home or stealing their goat. He was like, “Look, stealing also includes,” and they gave me a whole list of things. “For instance,” he said, “any company that rips off consumers, that’s a sin. Any business that does not pay a thriving living wage — that’s a sin. Charging $200 for ten prescription pills? That’s a sin. That’s stealing. That’s theft. Blaming inflation for when what the companies are really doing are just jacking the prices to steal more money from us? That’s a sin,” he said. The list is long of the thievery that has to stop. One notable one I saw here that he gave me was, “Charging people money to see any sequel to Transformers — that’s a sin.” So he gets really into the weeds on the stealing thing. And if I have time, I’ll try and post the extended version here of his New Ten Commandments. 

[00:19:03] Number eight, commandment number eight, the old one, Thou shalt not lie. And once again he said, “Unchanged! Still can’t lie. Lying is wrong. Lying is a sin.” But he had some add ons to this too. Again, trying to explain what lying was. It’s not just just telling a little fib or lying about hush money payments or that kind of thing. He said — I thought, this is really cool — he told me, he said that it’s best to start this way since you know how like, like you have this, you know, thing where in your country where you’re innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt. He said, “Immediately apply that kind of thinking to lying, but it’s the opposite with lying.” Because the biggest lies, the lies that cause the most harm to the his planet that he created and the people he created, are the lies told by those in power. So right away said, “Anything uttered by or said by a CEO, or a politician, or a breakfast cereal ad, you must assume when you hear their claim, what they’re telling you, you must automatically assume you are being lied to unless they prove otherwise to you. And that means prove it with evidence.” So, in other words, if you hold power — is his point — you are guilty of lying just by opening your mouth because you’re incentivized to lie, because you make more money, or you get elected to office or whatever it is you “get,” whatever the reward is from your lying. So better for us instead of just being disappointed all the time, “Ohh, he lied.” Yeah, that’s his job. Our job is to be critical thinkers. You know, the brain he gave us? Yeah. We’re supposed to, as soon as we hear anything spoken by somebody in power — whether it’s financial power, elected power, whatever — you have to start with assuming, “Yeah. Hmmm. I don’t know about that. I don’t know what he’s saying here, if that’s true. I should probably… I’m going to check that out.” And God did not say, “You got to just Google it and that’s enough.” You got to really check it out. You have to investigate. That’s why you need a free press. You got to have investigation journalism going on. That’s how you enforce the Eighth Commandment of “Thou shalt not lie.” Genius, right? You see, I said, “Why didn’t you tell Moses all this when you gave him the original Ten Commandments?” He said, “Because he was writing it in stone. It was on a stone tablet. You can only carry two tablets down the mountain, and I couldn’t fit all this other stuff in about all the ways I don’t approve of stealing or lying or killing.” I said, “Dude, this would have been a big help if you’d clarified this, you know, 5000 years ago, but I’m not… No judgment. That’s your job. I’m just saying… 

[00:22:17] The Ninth Commandment, the old way, Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife. Okay. Ummm. Covet. Yeah. The last two commandments are the “coveting.” I guess that meant, you shouldn’t desire or, want what your neighbor has. And I guess this refers to his wife. So I guess this is sort of a property issue because the man, back when these things were written, owned the wife, and he really wanted to clean this one up, he was like, “Wow, this is really old.” So he said, “the New ninth Commandment. It’s not thou shalt not covet my neighbor’s wife. It’s thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s partner — unless he or she is super hot. Okay. He didn’t really say that. No, this guy doesn’t… God believes everybody’s hot. First of all, he made us. If he was in here right now, he’d say, “Why are you saying that.. “unless they’re hot.” “Unless they’re hot” — no, they’re all hot. Everybody’s hot. I made everybody in my image and likeness, remember? I’m hot. That means everybody on Earth is hot. Every animal, every living thing, every tree is hot. The main thing is — he actually just wanted to get rid of this commandment, the Ninth one, because it’s basically the whole thing the nuns taught us about, “You can’t have impure thoughts or you’re committing a sin.” And I remember, I think I mentioned this before, that one of the early nuns I had, I asked the nun, I said, “Geez, what happens?” I think, yeah, I was probably up fifth or sixth grade, probably entering puberty, and I asked the nun, “But what if I get like a thought about, you know, the girl sitting across from me or in the desk? How do you know when is it a mortal sin to have an impure thought, and when is it a venial sin?” She was very clear on this: “If you hold the thought for only five seconds, it’s just a minor, a venial sin. But if you hold the impure thought,” — in other words, you’re just thinking in your head that, you know, you’re attracted to somebody. If you’re just thinking that, she said, “If you hold that thought for more than five seconds, it’s then a mortal sin.” Whoa. So I just remember going through, like, sixth, seventh, eighth grade, and actually timing my impure thoughts where it’d be like, “Okay, I gotta get rid by the five second mark, three, four. Oh, geez.” You know, I’m trying to get it out of my head. And I was pretty successful. I was able to just, you know, basically you just try to do box scores from baseball in your head and then all that stuff will leave your head. But what he wanted to point out, why he doesn’t want this commandment anymore is that thoughts, imagination, whatever that goes on between your two ears — that’s up to you. And you can think anything you want, and have any kind of fantasy you want and any kind of whatever. You’re not a sinner. It’s not dirty. You’re not impure. What matters is how you act on it. And if you act on it, you have to make sure that you treat the other person with respect. That anything you do together is with consent. Active and enthusiastic consent. You know, not just convincing yourself that there was consent. Boy, this guy had really evolved. I mean, he or she really had it together on this Ninth Commandment. 

[00:26:04] And then the 10th Commandment, he wanted to get rid of this, too, although he does think it makes a maybe a better point. 10th commandment: Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods or possessions. And that was the old 10th Commandment. And he said, “but that’s actually kind of a good thing.” So actually, he wrote, he gave me a New 10th Commandment, which I guess would be the ninth commandment now, The new way is: Be happy with what you have. And you probably have too much stuff anyway, so stop buying crap that you don’t need. It’s kind of the tone he used too. You see you don’t get that on a stone tablet. There’s no context, there’s no tone. But he thought the idea of you sitting around thinking, “I wish I had my neighbor’s car, I wish I had that jewelry, I wish I had this or that or whatever.” No no no no no no no. So that’s the new covet, commandment. 

[00:27:04] And then before we stopped our little session, he said, “Actually, I’m going to put out some New Commandments here pretty soon, but I’ll just tell you what they are now, so that you can tell others, that I’ve got, let’s see. How many more did he give me here? One. Two three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Oh, wow. So in addition to the now Nine Commandments, there are now going to be seven new ones. I’ll quickly just lay them out here for you. These are the new commandments from him of how to live your life. And some of this, I think he told that, Jesus, guy, some of this stuff. And I think it’s in the newer part of the Bible with the 12th fishing guys. Okay, ready? 

[00:27:59] All right. The New Seven, Number One, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Whoa! Of course. You know “The Golden Rule.” You know, “Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.” And I love the grammar of this: Love your neighbor as yourself. In other words, in order to know how to love your neighbor, he saying you first have to love yourself. Start there by trying to love yourself, and then you’ll know how to love your neighbor. Beautiful. Beautiful thought. The second new one is: Love your enemy. Love your enemy? Yeah. He told that to his son there too — JC. I keep saying “his” son. It could have been “her” son “their” son — so don’t get hung up with the pronouns here, because a lot of us are still stuck in the old way, but that’s okay. There’s drugs for this. “Love your enemy. Do good to those who persecute you. Learn to turn the other cheek.” That’s a hard one. But, see, he knew we’d start killing each other. He doesn’t want you killing your enemy, he wants you loving your enemy. The third one he added on here — and I’m sure he’ll post this on his website, I’m sure, fairly soon — Refusing to eliminate poverty is a sin. Wow. Absolutely. He looks fine to me too, he said, “Just the fact that — any country where poor people exist means the country has failed. Failed themselves. Failed me. Here’s his next one, this new one he’s going to be putting out there to the public: Treat women as if they are the ones who bring life into the world. A woman must control their own body, not men controlling it. Abortion is not a sin. It is a wonderful, blessed medical procedure that I, God, gave you. I, the creator. I invented abortion. It’s a medical procedure.” Oh, he just went off on this too. He’s very upset at this whole issue. First of all, the word “abortion” doesn’t even appear in his Bible. Doesn’t appear on Moses’s tablets. None of that. All made up by these new, Christian nationalist born agains, whatever, that we’ve had to listen to for a number of decades now, coming to an end very soon near you. And then he wanted to make one more point: A fertilized egg is not a human being. A seed — is that a flower? A stem is not a flower. A flower is a flower. Same thing for human beings. There’s a fertilized egg, there’s an embryo, there’s a fetus — there’s a whole process — none of that is an actual birthed human being. 

[00:31:23] How many more does he have here? Oh, just three more. Okay. He said to me, “To be gay or lesbian or bi or trans or queer is to be like God.” And then she or he adds to me,” as a side comment out the other side of her mouth, she goes, “You know who happens to be very fluid? God is fluid.” Okay. Yeah, I would hope so. Right. God’s next to last one here: Forcing anyone to post these commandments is a sin. So what Louisiana is doing, according to God, is a sin. Forcing kids to read this, tell them that they must follow these,” he said to me, he said, “Remember, I’m the one who invented free will. I gave every one of you free will. You get to make up your own minds of what you’re going to do, whether it’s right or wrong. You don’t pray to me and ask me if it’s right or wrong. You know what’s right or wrong. I gave you a conscience.” He gets/She gets/They get ticked at this as it was being explained to me. 

[00:32:46] So that’s it. Those are the new ones he’s going to be putting up on his website sometime. I thought it’d be by now, sometime soon. Oh, and then at the very end, before the lights went out, he just throws in, “Oh, but one more time, he we just wanted to say it: Smash capitalism.’ Okay, I heard you the first time. Got it. 

[00:33:12] All right, my friends, that’s it. That is what you got for my podcast today. My own conversation with God of the Commandments that he wanted to give a good upgrade to for the times in which we live, fix some confusion and misappropriation of her or his or their words. And be done with all this nonsense. The old commandments, the old ten. As he pointed out, some unchanged. Stop killing, stop stealing. Stop lying. Stop buying crap. And everything else — a new way to look at it. Feel free to share this with, your, family, friends, prayer groups. You know, anybody that you think this may help them live a better life? 

[00:34:06] All right, that’s it. We love you, Louisiana. God bless you. Thanks to my producer and editor, Angela Vargos. And to all of you for listening here, today. I’ll talk to you after the debate this week. Take care everybody. This is Michael Moore.